I'm losing it. I'm about to really lose it. I might have already lost it.

Please send me links or cute cats or SOMETHING to keep me from completely losing it.

pleeeeeeeeasssseeee

today is officially the shittiest day of 2010.

I'm beginning to feel like a really bad person. I hate not getting along with someone I'm forced to be around.

I need a bath, drinks, and lots of sleep.

And carrot cake.

I will not drink on Wednesday nights. I will not drink on Wednesday nights.

I WILL NOT DRINK ON WEDNESDAY NIGHTS!

I got the email yesterday. I am shooting ACL! Hooray! I'll get my actual band assignments in about an hour (hoping for Them Crooked Vultures at Stubbs tomorrow). I was actually thinking about taking a breather this weekend, but I think I will rock some photo pits and make some money instead. I need to save for family Christmas presents and Brandon's birthday and our one-year anniversary. I can't believe it's been almost a year already!

In other exciting photography news, I managed to get my students a photo pass to Fun Fun Fun Fest. They will have to be escorted to the pit by me, but I think it's really awesome for them to see how it all works and have the opportunity to actually get in the pit. I didn't get that until college. I think it was a Sonic Youth concert at Stubbs, but I can't quite remember. Anyway, the good people at the Austinist are helping me set it all up, and I think they might run a photo gallery online of the students' work. Hooray for getting work published! I can't wait to tell them tomorrow. I hope it all works out and they will all be able to attend. Unfortunately, they aren't getting free tickets out of it ... just the photo pass.

Keeping with the theme of this post... My camera is acting up. Fortunately, it's still under warranty but only until October 9. Which means as soon as ACL is over, it's off to the shop. It could take up to a month to get it back. This upsets me. I have a backup, but it's having problems, too. If anyone's found any money that grows on trees, please let me know.

Also... funny side story. Tuesday in class I was giving a lesson on vantage point and perspective. I was showing a picture of giraffes that was actually taken from above. To compare this angle to other angles, I ran a google image search for "giraffes." My computer was projecting on the wall, in giant form. The first few photos I click on? Giraffes ... mating. The whole class had a good laugh about that one.

Now if I could just get this week's issue out so I could forget about work I would be one happy camper. Work will get awholenother post soon. It's gonna need a novel.

I think it's happened.

It was inevitable.

I'm not young anymore.

I need 8-10 hours of sleep a night or I will fall asleep at my desk.

One night's sleep of less than 8 hours sets me back a week.

So.Tired.

i love love love love LOVE this band. the coathangers.

i saw them saturday night. they are awesome.







I was there shooting for my next Chron blog: What's In Your Purse, Girl?
It's amazing how many ladies were totally willing to open up there purses to the camera. I will post the link when it is up.

Meanwhile, I can't get their songs out of my head!

GARDEN UPDATE!!!!!!!




tomato plant


After the sun went down I switched the cucumber and jalepeno plant. The pepper just seemed totally baked from the sun, and the cucumber seems to love it and gets the most shade out of the whole garden. I transported the tomato plant to a bigger pot, breaking many leaves along the way. I hope it survives. Please send my plants positive thoughts.

I had a couple of photo shoots this weekend. It was fun. I recently replaced a filter on one of my lenses. I normally get the cheap UV filters cause they're really just to protect the lenses. Somehow I let the sales guy talk me into the $90 filter. I felt bad about it all week, but holy crapola it's awesome. It heightens the color and contrast ever so slightly but the time it's saving me in photoshop is killer.

I'll upload photos from Girls Rock Camp soon.

I had a really amazing birthday. My parents spent the weekend here and my mom and I put in a garden.  I am now growing tomatos, cucumbers, eggplant, basil, thyme, jalapenos, rosemary, and cilantro. Yum.



We also bought curtains for my bedroom (finally!) Brandon doesn't understand, but when things match and are aesthetically how I want them to be, it makes me happy.
He was thrilled with the makeshift curtains because they kept the sun out.
VS
I am ecstatic with my faux-suede red curtains because they keep the sun out AND match my cute new chair!! :)

I had to work on my birthday and even that was fun! My boss got me a carrot cake, and Brandon had flowers sent to my work. They are beautiful. Then, all night, he kept handing me scratch-offs. I didn't win, but I still have two left to scratch. *crosses fingers*
He also got me a full-body, 1-hour massage.

bettierage met us out for bingo and then headed home for her much-needed R&R. I sent a last-minute text to people to meet at Club deVille, and roughly 20 people ended up dropping in. The bartender gave me free drinks all night cause I've been going there since she was but a wee little cocktail waitress. I heart her.

I also heart all my friends who sent texts/facebooks wishing me a happy bday. It was just a really good day. I also got an email from kimisgreat  who was celebrating for me in Africa. We're talking international celebrations, people!

While my parents were in town, they got to meet Brandon. They like him. I haven't had a chance to get the full scoop, but my mom texted me that they liked him and thought he was funny but quiet. Brandon said he likes them and they are "funny and cute." Pretty good for a first meeting. I don't know if I was more worried about them not liking him or him not liking them. It's out of the way now, and I am grateful for that. His mom is really happy now cause she knows this means she gets to meet me soon. Hahaha... the nerves will start all over again!

So, yeah. Life is GOOD. I'm trying to be NO DRAMA. It's working out. Work today was the most hectic it's been in nearly a year, and I didn't feel the need to zone-out on my headphones or snap at anybody or bang my head against a wall. That's a good feeling. I also proposed a new job description/activity to my boss and he thinks it's a great idea. More on that later, hopefully. He's talking to people. Wheels in motion... *crosses fingers*

It might sound cheesy, but I really feel like I'm growing as a person lately. I'm handling all kinds of aspects of life at a stress-free pace. It's tiny, wonderful moments of clarity. The kind you can't go back on. It's growth security. It's an amazing thing.

So yeah, I guess I'm trying to say I'm happy. I don't know if it's forever, but it's at least brought my sink point lower, if that makes sense. As in, things getting bad will never be worse than where I've been the past couple of years. Not that I've been depressed or sad. It's hard to explain and I'm rambling. I'm just happy and at peace and really enjoying things right now. Oh, and my house is clean. that is very, very good. It makes me happy, too.

:D

It's my birthday on Tuesday. I have no ideas. My parents are coming into town. They asked me what I wanted. For the first time, I really have no idea. I think I've reached the age where if I need something, I get it. And if I REALLY want something, I save for it. I don't know what to ask for. Spa day? House stuff? Maybe stuff for a garden? My mom is bringing me tomato plants. I am excited.

This is my last Thursday and Friday off work. Then it's full time!! Today was my last class at the Griffin School before summer. I want to continue teaching there next school year. I'm excited. I have a lot of returning students.

I have a softball game tonight if anyone wants to come. Krieg complex, field 7. 8pm.  I've been hitting much better lately. Hopefully that will continue.

I have a lot to do before my parents come in. I need to finish laundry and cleaning. I spent $300 at the grocery store the other night. I hadn't been in about a month, and I found the Amy's frozen dinner sections and went to town. I also got the fixin's to make fake chicken salad wraps. Health eating here I come! If I can just make the wraps and sandwiches all at once and keep them in the fridge, I will be more inclined to eat better if it's something I can just grab. I've been steaming a lot of cauliflower and broccoli too.  I made dinner the other night and Brandon ate all of it and had seconds! That never happens. He has the stomach of a little kid. He said it was the best meal ever :)

He's meeting the parents this weekend. Eep!

YAY THURSDAY! I had a good day. I taught class (only two left), picked up a prescription, got my hair cut (super cute), went to the bank, went to the gym (to cancel, boo), went to the vet for medication for the kitties, and protested my tax appraisal in person. WHEW! I am tired. Every Thursday I wake up screaming at the world and vowing to come home and nap forever. Those were my intentions today, but I'm glad I didn't.

I think Brandon is freaking out about my birthday. And I think I've been a little mean. I want to travel; he can't afford it. But I've been inviting other people and trying to make plans anyway. I don't really care anymore. I just want to be happy. I know it's probably frustrating to him and he probably feels lame. I don't want that to happen. And I can't take the week off work anyway cause it's my first week full time and my quitting coworker's first week gone.

I told my mom I was in love with Brandon today. She tried not to freak out. But I could tell her mind was going "grandbabies! grandbabies!" I told her about how I got really upset this weekend cause I thought I wasn't going to get full time and might have to look for another job. When I'm really upset, I cry in my closet. so that's what I did. She asked how Brandon reacted and I told her that he came in the closet with me and hugged me, and then made me get out of the closet. That seemed to make her happy, and again I could hear "grandbabies! grandbabies!" Yeah, I know there's a step missing in there, but she thinks she's running out of time. I think it's funny. I don't even plan for the future like that. I don't even know about marriage and kids and it's just so funny how different things are between generations.

I am in full nap mode now. This weekend will be full of summer beverages and getting stuff done. And BBQ and pool time. This time, I will try not to burn my forehead. It is peeling now and I look rather freakish. It might be a step up from the raccoon sunburn I was sporting all week, but I'm not sure.